The other day a Facebook memory showed up from when Rebecca was only a few months old. Beth created the post and it was a picture of Rebecca with a caption saying that she could not wait until the day Rebecca could hear her tell her how much she loved her.
When I saw the memory on Beth’s feed I recalled the fear and anxiety that we were both feeling around that time. We wanted the best future for Rebecca and we were constantly worrying about our decision to have her implanted. We stressed about her future, what the surgery would be like, how we would get through it emotionally, would she even agree with our decision, we worried and worried and worried and all the while were sacrificing the joy of living in the present.
This worrying about her future all began far before we learned that she would eventually lose her vision from Usher syndrome. The day we found out we had a whole new list of worries that shed a new light on the past worries and made them appear insignificant.
I would be lying to say that I do not worry, I worry about her being accepted, I worry about her being depressed as the day she loses her vision gets closer, I worry about her independence and I worry about a cure being found in time. We worry about things that we have very little control over but it helps to know that there will be a day when that Facebook memory pops up in our feed and we will look back and wonder what we were so worried about.